Petra just left for New York and I have the blues. So I left my office to have a cigarette (yes, I know… it is one of the last ones because I also quit smoking before I fly to NY next week – promised!). In the pedestrian zone nearby I am approaching the bakery stand to line up in the queue while I am snipping away my cigarette bud.
Suddenly I hear a woman complain that “there is especially that thing attached to the waste bin to get rid of cigarette buds” and that “you should put it in there!” It takes a second after I turn around towards her, before I realize that that “Clean person” with the unpleasant voice and the killing glance addresses me! She points provocatively to that cigarette bud device attached to the waste bin, when she continues: “That is impertinent, what do you think? This is the law and costs 20 Euro!“ I am losing it!
Problem is, that that piece of woman in a way is right. One shouldn’t just throw your cigarette bud on the ground – even if you are sort of mentally challenged as I was this morning! But the barrack-tone and that Blockwart-mentality rubbed me the wrong way! She is the prototype of a middle aged (~ 55 years) woman that scares the …. out of you: helmet-style hairdo, typical German glasses from a cheap optometrist and an expression in the face, as if she is provided with executive rights of a higher instance! She is ready to enforce the law now and she will correct the trespasser with maximum personal power! She has a body shape like a block, 5 ft. 10’, wearing the obligatory gray rain jacket, hypertonic skin color and is highly aggressive.
She approaches one, two steps onto me, when I – after I had to consider that precarious situation I just manoeuvred my self into – start shouting back: “Don’t you dare! Who do you think you talk to!” and if this would be her way of trying to convince people of what is right and wrong. This would be totally inadequate and an insolence trying to talk to me that way!
All the others standing around and behind me (retirees and housewives) are split into two camps: Supporters of the inquisition and Libertines, basically democratic thinking people like me. But I must admit that the supporters of the “Clean Germany!”-woman are clearly in the majority. Only the round, quite over-weighty, younger cake shop assistant behind the counter looks at me understandingly and is rolling the eyes.
Now “leather face” joins the discussion (a woman in her forties who spent too much time in the solarium) “Why don’t you behave nicely now, apologize, bend and pick up that bud and put it in the trash bin?” I don’t believe it! They want me on my knees – bleeding! “What? Are you dreaming? If someone apologizes here, then it’s definitely not me, but the good Mrs. Proper!”
Clever as she is, she notices that things seem to get a little out of hand here. “Right!” I say, “because of that aggressive way of Mrs. Proper! Everything depends on the tone…”
That’s it! I’m through with these phagocytes and wanna-be-policemen and stand in line for my raisin danish. The shop assistant wishes me – almost in an excusing way – a beautiful day with a wink of the eye.
Meanwhile that fat snail, which talked herself in rage now, moved in the line behind me. She is ejaculating the whole pallet of populist garbage one knows in Germany: Well, here one could see it again, behaving recklessly, and other people have to clean up for you (as if would have I defecated in public!). “Yes, yes, but there are enough unemployed persons who can do that cleaning job!” she adds cynically. She goes on and on!
Man, Germany can hit you very hard. Beware! Forget all the stories about that “peace loving” country! Today I didn’t enjoy my danish.